My Baby Boy

I have been afforded some extra quality time with my son this weekend and have been amazed at how I have to adjust being a mommy for a girl verses being a mommy for a boy...for instance he enjoys the sound of belching so we had a contest while riding home yesterday he had a great time and to be honest so did I. I didn't have to act all girly girl with him.

Next while sitting next to him in church as the service was just about to be over he turns his head for a moment and then turns back towards me and with the biggest smile on his face I noticed that he had suddenly grown (drawn) a mustache with an ink pen. Let's just say all I could do was sit there with my mouth open. Couldn't knock his head off because it was too funny and I was amazed at what he does to entertain himself. So i politely gave him what my mom use to give me when I was younger and had matter in my eyes...A SPIT BATH !!!! He of course resisted and I only got half the ink off but it was too funny to even attempt to get mad. He smiled and I smiled and hugged him.

As Sunday evening came to a close...I sent him in the store to purchase one item about 2 minutes later he comes running out of the store with the product in his hand without a bag and what looked like the same 5 dollar bill I had given him...ya'll I almost had a heart attack. I open my car door and blurted out all of my thought to him at one time..."Devin why are you running, did you pay for it, why don't you have a bag, what's wrong with you boy?" Devin in his 10 years of wisdom calmly says to me..."Moma I paid for it, don't know why i'm running and you didn't tell me to get a bag you just said get the cookies" All I could say after I caught my breath was Wow he's right I just said go in the store and buy the cookies. Later I realized why he was so giddy when he came out of the store and forgot to get a bag....he saw our neighbors daughter (16 year old) who works as a cashier and who I now know he has a crush on. I chose not to tease him but shared with him that if he asked her out on a date I would drive them...He said, "Okay!!"

I love Devin and am not sure how exciting my life would be without him. Thank you God for my gift of a son !!!!

7 days ago

A week ago today I drove to work angry and upset over the "change in status" of my life. Angry that I would allow "this" of all things to happen to "ME". Embarrassed at my failure and just downright feeling sorry for myself. It took quite sometime for me to pull it together. Eyes all red and ugly, nose full of mucus, with a heart heavy in grief. As i drove those 30+ miles to work, I was encouraged to push through by B.I.L. (Rob J) and I pulled my emotions together but the rest was still there.

While sitting at my desk attempting to do some work...I stopped to realize how fortunate I was (and this may sound retarded) but how fortunate I was to have walked in, walked through and walked out of the experience of the marriage. With all of the heartaches, with all of the pain, with all of the doubt, with all of the happiness and tons of other things I had expereinced throughout the almost 4 years we were married and 6 years together, i've come out for the better.

Funny how I thought that "If he leaves what will I do, when my question should have been...If he leaves what will God do? Funny how I use to say how will I make it, when I should have been saying I'm gonna make it. Funny how I said what man wants a woman with two kids, when I should have been saying God wants me and my two kids. Funny how I use to say what man wants me when he could have someone in better shape than I am, when I now say " I am wonderously made by God and any man who does not want me... loose out on one of God's greatest creations!" Sexy Sassy Sultry Self

With all of that said the day ended up magnificent and it's final hours were spent on the phone with a friend. All in all it wasn't as bad as I built it up to be.