A week ago today I drove to work angry and upset over the "change in status" of my life. Angry that I would allow "this" of all things to happen to "ME". Embarrassed at my failure and just downright feeling sorry for myself. It took quite sometime for me to pull it together. Eyes all red and ugly, nose full of mucus, with a heart heavy in grief. As i drove those 30+ miles to work, I was encouraged to push through by B.I.L. (Rob J) and I pulled my emotions together but the rest was still there.
While sitting at my desk attempting to do some work...I stopped to realize how fortunate I was (and this may sound retarded) but how fortunate I was to have walked in, walked through and walked out of the experience of the marriage. With all of the heartaches, with all of the pain, with all of the doubt, with all of the happiness and tons of other things I had expereinced throughout the almost 4 years we were married and 6 years together, i've come out for the better.
Funny how I thought that "If he leaves what will I do, when my question should have been...If he leaves what will God do? Funny how I use to say how will I make it, when I should have been saying I'm gonna make it. Funny how I said what man wants a woman with two kids, when I should have been saying God wants me and my two kids. Funny how I use to say what man wants me when he could have someone in better shape than I am, when I now say " I am wonderously made by God and any man who does not want me... loose out on one of God's greatest creations!" Sexy Sassy Sultry Self
With all of that said the day ended up magnificent and it's final hours were spent on the phone with a friend. All in all it wasn't as bad as I built it up to be.
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